They lead admirable lives, but at what cost? How do I get over RSD? Sometimes they are driven to be above reproach. They constantly work to be the best at what they do and strive for idealized perfection. Some people use the pain of RSD to find adaptations and overachieve. These bright, capable people avoid any activities that are anxiety-provoking and end up giving up things like dating, applying for jobs, or speaking up in public (both socially and professionally). If there is the slightest possibility that a person might try something new and fail or fall short in front of anyone else, it becomes too painful or too risky to make the effort. They are too busy making sure other people aren’t displeased with them.Ģ. Often this becomes such a dominating goal that they forget what they actually wanted from their own lives. Then they present that false self to others. They scan every person they meet to figure out what that person admires and praises. People with ADHD cope with this huge emotional elephant in two main ways, which are not mutually exclusive.ġ. It is always triggered by the perceived or real loss of approval, love, or respect. They say it’s intense, awful, terrible, overwhelming. Often, people can’t find the words to describe its pain. Rejection sensitivity is hard to tease apart. Social phobia is an intense anticipatory fear that you will embarrass or humiliate yourself in public, or that you will be scrutinized harshly by the outside world. This can make them vigilant about avoiding it, which can be misdiagnosed as social phobia. RSD can make adults with ADHD anticipate rejection - even when it is anything but certain. When this emotional response is externalized, it looks like an impressive, instantaneous rage at the person or situation responsible for causing the pain. RSD is, in fact, a common ADHD trait, particularly in adults. It can take a long time for physicians to recognize that these symptoms are caused by the sudden emotional changes associated with ADHD and rejection sensitivity, while all other aspects of relating to others seem typical. The sudden change from feeling perfectly fine to feeling intensely sad that results from RSD is often misdiagnosed as rapid cycling mood disorder. When this emotional response is internalized (and it often is for people with RSD), it can imitate a full, major mood disorder complete with suicidal ideation. They are unbearable, restricting, and highly impairing. For people with RSD, these universal life experiences are much more severe than for neurotypical individuals. No one likes to be rejected, criticized or fail. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short-failing to meet their own high standards or others’ expectations.ĭysphoria is Greek for “difficult to bear.” It’s not that people with attention deficit disorder ( ADHD or ADD) are wimps, or weak it’s that the emotional response hurts them much more than it does people without the condition. Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been rejected or criticized by important people in their life.
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